Me and Britney Spears

so, I had myself a Britney moment on Friday morning around 12 am. This is embarrasing to say, but I woke up in a pool of what I thought was pee, and thought to myself, "didn't I grow out of this phase?" Now you know more than you wanted to know about me, I know, but it gets worse. I then ran to the bathroom because I had the urge to go again REALLLLLY bad, and low and behold, once I finally got the lights on, I realized I was actually covered in blood. I could have made my own horror movie in my bathroom!

Stupid me, my first thought was not to call 911, it was to get my drenched nightgown off and take a shower. Only, I never made it in to the shower, because I passed out at the door. I came to with Sami beside me asking if we should call 911... guess he's the only smart one in the house. Then, as I'm talking to the lady at 911 central, I realize I am naked and there are people coming to see me... oh no, that was not going to happen, so then I started freaking out about getting a gown on. Thank God Sami was there, because he saved the day once again by bringing me my black night shirt. Luckily, when the 6 SEXXXXXXY as hell firemen showed up, I was not naked, just sitting in a pool of blood instead. They assured me, they'd seen it all.
The cutest one decided I needed an IV, only I was so dehydrated at that point, that it would have taken forever to find a vein, so they got me up and onto a stretcher and I had my Britney moment. They strapped me down in my black nightgown and wheeled me out to the ambulance. I told them I felt like Britney and they assured me that the flashing lights from the other 2 trucks (yes 2 firetrucks accompanied the ambulance because there's nothing to do on a Friday morning in Little Elm) were the paparazzi. Oh my God that Tracy's shameless!
So, I spent the night in the hospital where I proceeded to lose lots more blood before they figured out how to stop it. Luckily I had a lot extra in my system because of the failed pregnancy though, or I'd have had to get a transfusion. They gave me 2 choices, another D&C (which would mean we wouldn't have a shot in hell of having kids) or to take the meds and hope for improvement. Guess which one we chose!? I finally checked out of the looney bin around 10 yesterday morning, and I have to say, I am doing a whole lot better today. Just a little week still, but that's to be expected.
And, lastly, for all of you wondering about Sami's clean freak gene, I sent him home for a couple of hours EARLY Friday to clean the murder scene from our bathroom. He's such a sweetheart. And props to the firemen who had actually stayed back while I was being carted out and tried to help him clean some of it then!
But really, have we not been through enough? I need a vacation and a gun to shoot that damned monkey that seems to have lodged itself on our backs!