Yeay! I cannot believe the day has finally arrived! I am PUPO after having transferred 2 beautiful embryos this afternoon. One was already starting to hatch which was a very good sign. I'll be spending lots of time in bed for the next 2 days, and then it's light light duty until a blood test next Saturday morning! We were given yet another warning today that my cervix is definitely incompetent, so I'm prepared for many months of doing nothing basically, but working to keep my baby(s) inside and give them a chance to grow as much as they can. At least laying in bed is better than laying upside down like last time! :)
Sticky vibes and baby dust to all!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
I can't wait to be PUPO!
So... this Wednesday, Sami and I are finally going to get knocked up. Light the candles and buy some wine! Oh wait, you mean that's not how they we do it? My bad... Looks like it'll be lots of relaxation, no perfumes or lotions to scare the embryos away, and lots of time sitting on the couch watching TV... yippeee! Let the 2ww (2 week wait) begin! Two of our embryos will be thawed next Wednesday morning and Wednesday afternoon, my uterus will welcome them home. My lining measured 7.7 on day 14 which is awesome since I've barely been able to make it to 7 by day 14 in previous cycles.
Basically, come Wednesday, I'll be considered PUPO, pregnant until proven otherwise. That's the time where for 2 whole weeks, I get to obsess over ever little twinge and possible pregnancy symptom despite the fact that 99.99% of them are due to the progesterone shots that I have to take daily. It's a blast! Right... you believe me don't you?! :)
Yesterday was my first intra-muscular (read buttox or thigh) injection of progesterone in quite a while. I guess I'll be on them for quite a while... hopefully anyway. I'll take them through the first trimester and then begin weekly shots of progesterone of a different kind (p17) that is supposed to help stave off preterm labor. Earlier this year, we didn't know if I went into labor so early because of an icompetent cervix or due to preterm labor, but now we know with a little more certainty that my cervix is out of whack and the likely culprit as I mentioned in previous posts. So, my hubby's informed me that I will be treated like a princess this go round and should not worry about a thing. If only life were that simple.
I just wanted to take a moment as I wrap up today's post, to say how thankful I am for all of the new friends that God has sent my way this year. I was talking to Wendy last night at the snack counter at the movies and I told her even though we had to suffer a lot in the past few years, I feel like God has truly shown me a wonderful group of people that I never would have otherwise come across. I appreciate all of you and you give me hope that this go round will be different as well as the strength to get back on this rollercoaster ride again. THANK YOU ALL and I love ya!
Sticky vibes and baby dust to all!
Basically, come Wednesday, I'll be considered PUPO, pregnant until proven otherwise. That's the time where for 2 whole weeks, I get to obsess over ever little twinge and possible pregnancy symptom despite the fact that 99.99% of them are due to the progesterone shots that I have to take daily. It's a blast! Right... you believe me don't you?! :)
Yesterday was my first intra-muscular (read buttox or thigh) injection of progesterone in quite a while. I guess I'll be on them for quite a while... hopefully anyway. I'll take them through the first trimester and then begin weekly shots of progesterone of a different kind (p17) that is supposed to help stave off preterm labor. Earlier this year, we didn't know if I went into labor so early because of an icompetent cervix or due to preterm labor, but now we know with a little more certainty that my cervix is out of whack and the likely culprit as I mentioned in previous posts. So, my hubby's informed me that I will be treated like a princess this go round and should not worry about a thing. If only life were that simple.
I just wanted to take a moment as I wrap up today's post, to say how thankful I am for all of the new friends that God has sent my way this year. I was talking to Wendy last night at the snack counter at the movies and I told her even though we had to suffer a lot in the past few years, I feel like God has truly shown me a wonderful group of people that I never would have otherwise come across. I appreciate all of you and you give me hope that this go round will be different as well as the strength to get back on this rollercoaster ride again. THANK YOU ALL and I love ya!
Sticky vibes and baby dust to all!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Happy Thursday everyone!
I am off to teach a seminar shortly on international trade. It's being simulcast across a few different cities, so that should be exciting...at least it makes the time go by faster until I can get to the doc tomorrow and find out if all the injections I've been doing have been paying off.
I spent an hour and half this week on the table at my acupuncturists "working on my lining". I feel a little like Frankenstein with all those needles in me... not to mention the electric current she puts in my stomach and back. I think I could jump start a car now... anyone need assistance in that department? LOL
I am a firm believer in mind over matter, so I've been doing guided imagery as well to help me along the journey. If nothing else, it's very relaxing, and let's face it, I need all the relaxation I can get right now. A friend of mine mentioned this past weekend that I seemed sad... I guess that's not the right word for how I feel. I just have the blah's from the emotional roller coaster that all of these meds have put me on. And, every time I turn around, I'm paying another doctor which can bring even the most chipper person down. OK Obama, you hear me? I'm doing my part to stimulate the economy... I'm sending kids to college and helping docs afford new cars and vacations with their wives. :)
Did y'all see the case this week of the couple that got the wrong embryo implanted? I thought about that once during our IVFs, when a friend of mine and his wife were going through treatment at the same time and place that we were. Thankfully, we got our own embryos even if the nurse made a mistake and brought my friend back to see me instead of his wife after the egg retrieval...lol... you should have seen the looks on our faces... he was like "that's not my wife" and I was all "what the heck are you doing here? Am I at work?" LOL... at least I could blame the after effects of the anasthesia for anything I said. :) Seriously though, it took a lot of strength for that couple to continue with their pregnancy... although, having been on this ttc journey for a while, I can totally get that this was, to them, the only viable option. That's like when our OB mentioned genetic testing last year with the boys early on in the pregnancy. He assumed that it was because of Sami's faith (he's Catholic) that we refused it, but the truth is that after fighting that hard to have a baby, we could not fathom the idea of "selective reduction" if something had come up on one of the tests. Even after everything we've been through in the past 3 years, we are firm believers that God only gives us what we can handle... I just wish, as they say, that he would sometimes not have as much faith in my ability to handle things...
Until tomorrow!
Sticky dust and baby vibes to all!
I spent an hour and half this week on the table at my acupuncturists "working on my lining". I feel a little like Frankenstein with all those needles in me... not to mention the electric current she puts in my stomach and back. I think I could jump start a car now... anyone need assistance in that department? LOL
I am a firm believer in mind over matter, so I've been doing guided imagery as well to help me along the journey. If nothing else, it's very relaxing, and let's face it, I need all the relaxation I can get right now. A friend of mine mentioned this past weekend that I seemed sad... I guess that's not the right word for how I feel. I just have the blah's from the emotional roller coaster that all of these meds have put me on. And, every time I turn around, I'm paying another doctor which can bring even the most chipper person down. OK Obama, you hear me? I'm doing my part to stimulate the economy... I'm sending kids to college and helping docs afford new cars and vacations with their wives. :)
Did y'all see the case this week of the couple that got the wrong embryo implanted? I thought about that once during our IVFs, when a friend of mine and his wife were going through treatment at the same time and place that we were. Thankfully, we got our own embryos even if the nurse made a mistake and brought my friend back to see me instead of his wife after the egg retrieval...lol... you should have seen the looks on our faces... he was like "that's not my wife" and I was all "what the heck are you doing here? Am I at work?" LOL... at least I could blame the after effects of the anasthesia for anything I said. :) Seriously though, it took a lot of strength for that couple to continue with their pregnancy... although, having been on this ttc journey for a while, I can totally get that this was, to them, the only viable option. That's like when our OB mentioned genetic testing last year with the boys early on in the pregnancy. He assumed that it was because of Sami's faith (he's Catholic) that we refused it, but the truth is that after fighting that hard to have a baby, we could not fathom the idea of "selective reduction" if something had come up on one of the tests. Even after everything we've been through in the past 3 years, we are firm believers that God only gives us what we can handle... I just wish, as they say, that he would sometimes not have as much faith in my ability to handle things...
Until tomorrow!
Sticky dust and baby vibes to all!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Rainy Mondays SUCK!
Ugh! Will this day ever end? I got to work at the crack of dawn for a meeting that I could have just have easily missed. That led to a series of conference calls that went on waaaaaaay too long. I hear my bed calling me now... but, alas, I have a transaction I am still waiting on at work, so I will be here a little while longer... go figure... it's Monday... and still raining...
To make matters worse, I decided this weekend to go ahead and eat like I am pregnant, so I have had no caffeine since Friday night. Hmmm, let's see... caffeine withdrawal, lupron shots and estrogen injections, oh my! When you read in the paper that I've gone off on a crime spree, you will know why!
Speaking of which, I saw my life flash in front of my eyes last night! I had the uber smart idea to sneak up on him while he was doing laundry last night... All the lights were out in the house except for in the utility room. He finished playing with the laundry... and yes I call it playing.. you should watch his laundry process and you'd agree... and when he came out I lunged at him and screamed...Not a good idea in hindsight! He tried to take a swing at his attacker and thankfully realised it was me before he landed his punch. I laughed soooooooo hard though!
He tried to get me back later on by trying to sneak out of the bedroom and crawl around the couches and surprise me. I busted him though before he had a chance. We got a good laugh out of it.
I got my appointment scheduled with the fertility doc today. I'll be back to see him next Friday, 9/25 and we will hopefully get the go-ahead then for a transfer on 10/1. Keep those fingers crossed please!
Thankfully, I will be back at my acupuncturist's office tomorrow for some help with my nausea, headaches and yes, of course, the all important lining. I do hope we win the lining lotto and register an 8 or higher next week. :)
Sticky vibes and baby dust to all!
To make matters worse, I decided this weekend to go ahead and eat like I am pregnant, so I have had no caffeine since Friday night. Hmmm, let's see... caffeine withdrawal, lupron shots and estrogen injections, oh my! When you read in the paper that I've gone off on a crime spree, you will know why!
Speaking of which, I saw my life flash in front of my eyes last night! I had the uber smart idea to sneak up on him while he was doing laundry last night... All the lights were out in the house except for in the utility room. He finished playing with the laundry... and yes I call it playing.. you should watch his laundry process and you'd agree... and when he came out I lunged at him and screamed...Not a good idea in hindsight! He tried to take a swing at his attacker and thankfully realised it was me before he landed his punch. I laughed soooooooo hard though!
He tried to get me back later on by trying to sneak out of the bedroom and crawl around the couches and surprise me. I busted him though before he had a chance. We got a good laugh out of it.
I got my appointment scheduled with the fertility doc today. I'll be back to see him next Friday, 9/25 and we will hopefully get the go-ahead then for a transfer on 10/1. Keep those fingers crossed please!
Thankfully, I will be back at my acupuncturist's office tomorrow for some help with my nausea, headaches and yes, of course, the all important lining. I do hope we win the lining lotto and register an 8 or higher next week. :)
Sticky vibes and baby dust to all!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
What a rainnnnnny day!
The weather is glum and so am I... my head is killing me... only 2 days after acupuncture too... no wonder my acupuncture doctor said I would need more visits this cycle... ugh! At least I only have another week on the nasty Lupron! Then hopefully the headaches will be gone... I hope at least. :)
I must give a shout out to my Big Brother! He and his wife welcomed a beautiful little boy into the world yesterday. Chase will make a wonderful addition to their family and give Braydon a cool new brother to play with. :)
Sami and I went out for dinner last night to try and blow off some steam before his big math test today... We kept wondering why no one was at the cool new restaurant we had decided to try... welll duh! We just happened to pick an Afghan restaurant on 9/11? What were we thinking? Thanks Elise for pointing the obvious out to me today... I definitely did not even think that through last night.
I know now too why I have never written a book. Every time I sit down at this computer to write a blog entry, Sami gets pulled in by watching my fingers move across the keyboard and tries to grab the hand closest to him to play with... maybe I should worry about him... he's so easily distracted by moving objects. Or, better yet, perhaps I should google hypnosis and learn how to hypnotize him. LOL
I am headed to NC this week to visit a client AND see my newphews. I can't wait. It will make the time pass faster until we get to go back in to the doc and see how the ol' lining's growing this month. Come on....8+!
I must give a shout out to my Big Brother! He and his wife welcomed a beautiful little boy into the world yesterday. Chase will make a wonderful addition to their family and give Braydon a cool new brother to play with. :)
Sami and I went out for dinner last night to try and blow off some steam before his big math test today... We kept wondering why no one was at the cool new restaurant we had decided to try... welll duh! We just happened to pick an Afghan restaurant on 9/11? What were we thinking? Thanks Elise for pointing the obvious out to me today... I definitely did not even think that through last night.
I know now too why I have never written a book. Every time I sit down at this computer to write a blog entry, Sami gets pulled in by watching my fingers move across the keyboard and tries to grab the hand closest to him to play with... maybe I should worry about him... he's so easily distracted by moving objects. Or, better yet, perhaps I should google hypnosis and learn how to hypnotize him. LOL
I am headed to NC this week to visit a client AND see my newphews. I can't wait. It will make the time pass faster until we get to go back in to the doc and see how the ol' lining's growing this month. Come on....8+!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Good evening everyone!
Well, I've started the Lupron shots... let the fun begin. I'm holding water like a camel, breaking out like a teenager, and going from tears to anger at the drop of a hat. I forgot how much fun medicated cycles can be!!!!! I've got 4 days under my belt now, so only another week or so to go until I get to add in the Estrogen...and then the real party starts... perhaps I should just go ahead to Sams and get two jumbo packs of Puffs...with lotion of course. :)
My biopsy went very well on Friday. My mom and dad made the trip from NC. It worked out great because Sami had class Friday morning when I was scheduled for the procedure. My fertility doc was very surprised to walk into the exam room and 1... not see Sami, and 2... see my mother who he met for the first time. He was soooo cute. He tried to ask my mom to leave because he was scared she would faint. I told him he should not worry about that in the least. After all, my mom's been a nurse for 33 years and jumped right in and helped my OB pack me last year when they finally found my infection at the c-section site. Once he learned she was a nurse, we got right down to business. The biopsy lasted longer than I expected. He biopsied 3 spots instead of the 1 that I was expecting. I tended to hold my breath more out of anticipation that anything. It was slightly painful, more uncomfortable than anything. I'd compare it to a series of severe menstrual cramps....bearable but unpleasant.
Now I get to do Lupron for a few days and then start the Estrogen IM injections... more fun. Right now we are looking at a transfer around the last week of September/first week of October. I can't wait. I'm already planning a craft party during the dreaded 2 week wait to get my mind off of pregnancy tests. :) If you are reading this and live in the Metroplex, you should be getting your invite soon. I love making crafts and goody bags for the kids in the hospital and the NICU families.
Sticky vibes and baby dust to all!
My biopsy went very well on Friday. My mom and dad made the trip from NC. It worked out great because Sami had class Friday morning when I was scheduled for the procedure. My fertility doc was very surprised to walk into the exam room and 1... not see Sami, and 2... see my mother who he met for the first time. He was soooo cute. He tried to ask my mom to leave because he was scared she would faint. I told him he should not worry about that in the least. After all, my mom's been a nurse for 33 years and jumped right in and helped my OB pack me last year when they finally found my infection at the c-section site. Once he learned she was a nurse, we got right down to business. The biopsy lasted longer than I expected. He biopsied 3 spots instead of the 1 that I was expecting. I tended to hold my breath more out of anticipation that anything. It was slightly painful, more uncomfortable than anything. I'd compare it to a series of severe menstrual cramps....bearable but unpleasant.
Now I get to do Lupron for a few days and then start the Estrogen IM injections... more fun. Right now we are looking at a transfer around the last week of September/first week of October. I can't wait. I'm already planning a craft party during the dreaded 2 week wait to get my mind off of pregnancy tests. :) If you are reading this and live in the Metroplex, you should be getting your invite soon. I love making crafts and goody bags for the kids in the hospital and the NICU families.
Sticky vibes and baby dust to all!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
You have to take charge of your own life (and medical history)!
Well ladies (I'm assuming not too many gentlemen are finding their way to my blog and deciding to stay...), I had further confirmation on Friday that I, and I alone, are responsible for my own medical journey. I showed up for my sono last Friday to see if I had ovulated, and my RE's office was having me sign paperwork for a uterine biopsy. Now the last time that I saw my RE (short for fertility doctor) he said that we'd do a biopsy 7-8 days after I ovulated. His words were, "no worries, we are not in a hurry", which was easy for him to say, because he was not trying to schedule work around fertility treatments. :) Imagine my surprise then when I walked in last Friday to see them fully setup for the biopsy. I'm SOOOOOO glad I raised the issue (after taking the prescribed pain pills and antibiotic on an empty stomach) with my RE when he came in, and boy was I glad... I wasn't supposed to do the biopsy until THIS Friday. My RE was quite upset with the staff that had written numbers in the wrong spot in my chart. Oh, what a costly mistake that could have been! I'm so glad I've decided to take charge of my medical journey! But, alas, I am destined for a biopsy this Friday...
I've never had a uterine biopsy, and I'm not really looking forward to it. I've done my research as usual, and kind of wish I hadn't. I have found accounts from women that have had the procedure and compared it to having a toe cut off without anesthesia and accounts from women saying it was only mildly painful. I'm praying that I'll fall into the mildly painful category... similar to my experience with they hysteroscopy. Hopefully 2 ibuprofen and an antibiotic will be all I need to take on the biopsy...
I spent the weekend in NC for my cousin's wedding. It was quite beautiful, and I enjoyed helping out with the reception. What I wasn't really prepared for though, were the numerous questions about whether or not Sami and I had kids yet, and if the 4 day old cousin of mine making his first family gathering appearance at the wedding was mine. I get this question quite a lot lately though... the "do you have kids yet" remark...I guess I'm just getting to that age when people just assume we've got kids already. And then there are the kind hearted people at work that are so anxious to check in and see how life is treating we with twin boys, since the last time we happened to talk, I was pregnant with twins... Oh, I am getting really good at handling these inquiries, let me tell you! I feel sorry for the people doing the asking, because I know they have no way of knowing, and as soon as I answer, they are going to feel bad... but really, what are my options? I could be brief I guess, and just say know, but I feel like I owe it to give the honest answer that we've got kids, but that they are no longer living...I do ok in the moment I'm answering, but it seems to bring me down for a bit afterwards. It does get easier with time.
A former manager told me after the boys' passing that I would start to eventually have more good days than bad, and that this is what I should strive for, because it never really "gets better". He is soooo right... I do find myself having more good days, but then, out of the blue, the sadness will hit... that's what I hate the most. My naivete is gone, and I'll never be able to get it back. But that doesn't mean we can't have hope. What's the point if you can't have hope???
STICKY VIBES AND BABY DUST TO ALL!
I've never had a uterine biopsy, and I'm not really looking forward to it. I've done my research as usual, and kind of wish I hadn't. I have found accounts from women that have had the procedure and compared it to having a toe cut off without anesthesia and accounts from women saying it was only mildly painful. I'm praying that I'll fall into the mildly painful category... similar to my experience with they hysteroscopy. Hopefully 2 ibuprofen and an antibiotic will be all I need to take on the biopsy...
I spent the weekend in NC for my cousin's wedding. It was quite beautiful, and I enjoyed helping out with the reception. What I wasn't really prepared for though, were the numerous questions about whether or not Sami and I had kids yet, and if the 4 day old cousin of mine making his first family gathering appearance at the wedding was mine. I get this question quite a lot lately though... the "do you have kids yet" remark...I guess I'm just getting to that age when people just assume we've got kids already. And then there are the kind hearted people at work that are so anxious to check in and see how life is treating we with twin boys, since the last time we happened to talk, I was pregnant with twins... Oh, I am getting really good at handling these inquiries, let me tell you! I feel sorry for the people doing the asking, because I know they have no way of knowing, and as soon as I answer, they are going to feel bad... but really, what are my options? I could be brief I guess, and just say know, but I feel like I owe it to give the honest answer that we've got kids, but that they are no longer living...I do ok in the moment I'm answering, but it seems to bring me down for a bit afterwards. It does get easier with time.
A former manager told me after the boys' passing that I would start to eventually have more good days than bad, and that this is what I should strive for, because it never really "gets better". He is soooo right... I do find myself having more good days, but then, out of the blue, the sadness will hit... that's what I hate the most. My naivete is gone, and I'll never be able to get it back. But that doesn't mean we can't have hope. What's the point if you can't have hope???
STICKY VIBES AND BABY DUST TO ALL!
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